Blizzard noob, newb and nub penalties. Fictional of course.

I had a great idea when I was writing my last post and of course, I couldn't leave well enough alone.

What if Blizzard implemented a noob penalty system?  If *I* worked at Blizzard, my penalization system would sort of look like this:

Warcraft PTR Patch 3.3.0. Seriously?

Blizzard put up the warcraft ptr patch notes and with that being said... I'm always happy about new ways to get epic gear.

Some of the notes I found absolutely insane, hysterical or wtf are these:

Level 1 characters no longer start with food or water in their inventory.   It sounds terrible, huh?   There is nothing like finding yourself dead... a lot... when trying out a new game. Thats ok though, they make for that by adding this into the patch:   Health and Mana Regeneration: These regeneration rates have been increased by up to 200% for low level characters. As a player's level increases, the regeneration rates gradually reduce, returning to normal rates at level 15.

(and by this time if you can't make or find your own food, you should probably uninstall the game). When are they going to allow the making of mana drinks ( not potions)? . 

Another noob fail is going to be this:

Attack: Level 1 druids, mages, priests, and warlocks will no longer start with the Attack button placed on their action bars by default.

There are going to be level one druids, mages, priests and warlocks running around having absolutely no idea how to hit something back ( or attack something)  and dying of malnutrition while they are at it. Way to go Blizzard!  Note to the noobs: Run like a bunny on speed from the mob that you couldn't figure out how to attack until you are out of combat. Then, regain your health and mana almost instantaneously at the upcoming 200 percent rate. We're going to see an awful lot of noobs running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I don't know about you, but I'm going to Teldrasil when the patch gets released... just for giggles and all. 

Druid fail: Prowl:   This ability no longer has multiple ranks and penalizes movement speed by 30%. Ok seriously, wtf? I'm sure Blizzard has noticed now that druids wear two types of clothes being cloth and leather. We're not exactly the best dps class in the game, especially when being smashed upside the head by a plate or mail wearer. Don't worry though, Blizzard just made it ten times easier to be seen and pwned in bg's by said mail and plate wearers as you are tediously and ever-so-slowly crawling your way to the tempting priest you were just going to gank. Thanks Blizzard.

Priests (holy and discipline) only get these two improved or new skills:

Divine Hymn: The cooldown on this spell has been reduced to 8 minutes, down from 10 minutes. Power Word: Shield: This spell can now be cast on non-raid/party friendly targets. Big freaking whoop. So while I am in Teldrasil laughing at the noobs who have no idea  how to attack, I can at least bubble them. Yippee. I do like the improved Divine Hymn though. I don't like being able to have it knocked off me though.

It also, as of now, appears that Mages and Hunters will probably be dishing out some even higher dps. Oh goody, just what we needed, right? Yeah yeah, that's good for all the mages and hunters out there.  Actually, deathknight tanks seem to have a better way to ... be tanks as well. And paladins? Meh. I skimmed their updates.... I peeked but didn't fully read nor interpret. I am afraid, very afraid in fact, of what they may  have done that makes them even BETTER of course. 

I have to say  though that the best, most exciting thing I have read so far about the new patch is this: 
Ignore List: The amount of characters a person can ignore has been increased to 50. In addition, players on other realms can be placed on the Ignore list. FREAKING AWESOME! Way to go Blizzard!  I can finally put more and more uber newbs on ignore? Really? YAY! My list has been full for ages on ALL my characters, so thank you for that.



BUT, because we will be able to communicate with noobs across different realms, the unfortunate and sad fact is that you flobnobbins will no longer; for example, be able to stuff all your demonic and rathering boring messages inside of you until the end of a bg.. then let said messages go with: you all suck so bad you....do...your...moms...(wtf?) WITHOUT having repercussions to that. Will will message you back after the bg ends. And then, put you on ignore. 


Personally, I think Blizzard should penalize the uber noobs. I have found out that I run into more level 80 noobs on any given day than I do players just starting out. I think time and time again to myself "HOW did this person make it to level 80?" 


The new patch notes can be found here: Patch Notes

Modern Warfare II :Call of Duty Makes 550 million

Forget all the hype about the controversial subject of Modern Warfare 2: Call of Duty; Activision-Blizzard is making so much money, they could care less. And frankly, neither could I. People everywhere always need something to pick on, so video games are not off limits. Personally, the only time  you'd hear me complain about the "humanity of video games" is when my carpal AND cubital tunnel syndromes flare up.

Back to the topic: 550 million! Obviously, Modern Warfare 2: Call of Duty has completely surpassed all of the other now former best selling video games. The equally sick yet exciting part is that it pulled down those figures in just five days. I am glad to know that not everyone is petrified that the "russians are coming".

Obviously, Activision wishes this buying spree tread to continue. Will it? Maybe, maybe not. If  anyone hasn't noticed,  it is the holiday times so my guess is that after the holidays.. and the economy's pockets completely drained, a HUGE sale decrease is going to occur. Then again, when little Timmy finds out that little Johnny  got Modern Warfare 2: Call of Duty for Christmas  and relentlessly nags his Mother until his ears bleed, another buying trend may be established.

Whatever. In your face Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

Brad Pitt as star role in Dark Void?

Created by Airtight Games, Dark Void is not even scheduled to hit the shelves until January of 2010. The game sounds sort of hum drum however: a 1950's pilot crashes into the Bermuda Triangle and fights to survive. Meh. I think I could live without it.

However, latest news is that Brad Pitt has already bought the rights to the upcoming game and may, or may not ( depending on which article you read) play the lead character of Will in an upcoming movie.

People are excited by this: Brad Pitt, as the lead star in a video tanking his cute little behind through aliens. Again, I must say "meh". I think perhaps I am all Brad Pitt-ed out and neither the video game Dark Void nor the much speculated movie thrills me. Then again, neither does Brad Pitt so perhaps that it why it is so hum drum to me. Where's Vin Diesel when you need him? I'd much rather see some alien goo slobbered all over his young face, than Brad Pitt's. But hey, thats just me.

According to Risky Business, there are no writers for a this speculated film, yet. And is it just that? Is it just speculation? Maybe. You have an actor buying out video rights to a video game and suddenly, the internet world is booming that there is going to be a movie, and that Brad Pitt is going to be the lead role. Who says that is true? I mean, I'm a mother, so if I go buy a gallon of milk, does that mean I am going to spawn ten more children? Of course not. Thats Angelina's job. Sorry Brad.

Here's a trailer to Dark Void as posted on Youtube by Viso Games.

You cannot attack that target: Warcraft Quirks

So, as you may or may not know, or may or may not have gathered from my page: I'm a girl/woman/chic/mil.... ok that's enough.  Having said that, let me tell you just a little bit more about my warcraft history.

I started out as a night elf rogue and I played her pretty relentlessly until I got completely tired of seeing all sorts of messages from:
1.) You cannot attack that target. Really? Gee thanks Blizzard, you mean I can't hit the level one horde warrior in the mouth that just tried to attack me? C'mon, get real!
2.) You cannot do that right now.
3.) You do not have enough energy. You do not have enough energy. You do not have enough energy.
4.) You CANNOT BLIND YOURSELF. Yeah, you heard that right. One time, somehow or another, I actually got the Warcraft error telling me I could not blind myself.

And of course that list goes on and on. Now, you can use mods to block those relentless annoying errors, but the fact of the matter was: My rogue still sucked. Let me be honest as to why: I suck. A rogue just wasn't for me. It never was and it never will be.  But, it became clear to me that even when I hushed all of my errors, that my rogue was still not performing as a rogue. Stealth wasn't stealth. Vanish wasn't vanish. And more often than not; you could hear me then  YELLING out what I had shut up in my mods, such as "for pete freaking sake, just freaking attack the gdamn fricken pally back. Stupid rogue!"

So, I re rolled a female night elf hunter. Let me just tell you now- I was not a huntard. I could kite another Warcraft player for miles and have fun doing so. I knew when to trap, I knew when to feign, I knew when and HOW to put my pet on stay and then recall him so that he doesn't aggro mobs. ( Some of you noobs might want to implement this tactic). And, I always topped the dps charts in MOST bgs. I never raided with her. As I have said on my general page- I left her dead out in borean tundra. Poor girl is still there.

I then rerolled a priest. So now I had heals but no one worth healing. That was completely annoying. Unless you were my bf who sat back to back with me ( he's my tank), I pretty much got aggravated.  Also, I found out very quickly that priests are utterly abused on warcraft. We are.  If you don't believe me, go for it and roll one. But don't complain when you find out its true.

And my latest reroll is a druid. I loved my druid. My druid completely rocked and would pwn your face in a split second or two. I leveled as FERAL. I never tried out boomkin. I'm pretty loyal to just one spec. I sort of always have been. And I leveled completely fine. When I hit 80, I duel spec'd and added resto into the mix. Restoration is pretty fun. I can say that much. But let me just tell you now.... since being a level 80 druid, I am completely fed up.

My druid doesn't give me errors. That much I can say. However, I can chase one target around for miles before actually landing a hit. And I am not talking about misses, dodges, etc. I am talking MY DRUID will NOT attack. I chased a horde shaman today from the blacksmith clear up to the lumber mill and successfully landed one hit on him. I realized a long time ago that you have to have your druid positioned exactly just right to so much as land a hit. It gets annoying. I am annoyed. I want to continue playing warcraft, but nothing says bite me more than not being able to hit back or return a punch to the mage that just hit me in the face for 13k; due to no reason other than Warcraft Glitches.

All this time I played my rogue, I  thought for sure that rogues had to be the most glitched class around. I'm seriously contemplating that not being true anymore.

I have a fantabulous suggestion for Blizzard though. IF a druid signs into bg's while in flight form, that druid should be able to LEAVE the bg IN FLIGHT FORM. Does anyone have a clue as to how many times I came out of a bg and fell to my death? Sigh. Perhaps I am my own noob. Now when my pvp  screen pops up, I try to get my druid somewhere safe and quickly.

But all in all, I am pretty tired of being face rolled simply due to not being able to attack back. My settings are fine, so it isn't that. Being owned is one thing, but being completely annihilated without so much as a one quick strike back due to LITERALLY not being able to attack that target is a waste of my time.

Nothing says pwned more than a few Warcraft glitches.

Countdown to World of Warcraft's Fifth Year Anniversary

On November 23, 2009, Warcraft will turn five years old- at least live and available to the market. Blizz worked behind the scenes for years before releasing Warcraft.

Rob Pardo, Vice President of the World of Warcraft thought introducing our ( at least my beloved MMOG) game

Nvidia 3D Vision gaming LAPTOP

Yup, they have em, and they already exist and the functionally of playing your game works great.. right after you install program x, hookup hardware B, and do the hokey pokey. Sorry, got carried away.